A Father's Love
- Matthew Smith
- Apr 8, 2018
- 10 min read
God isn’t a magic genie who appears suddenly when we call and grants every wish that we ask. So why do we get mad when he doesn’t give us everything we want at the time that we want it? Our distorted minds crave that our desires be met in an instant. Social media has conditioned our minds to eliminate the process or journey to attain success, wealth, health, love, and a true relationship with God. We compare ourselves to others that we see on our timeline and wonder why can’t our lives be like theirs. Or even worse we feel that there is something wrong with us because we haven’t “arrived” yet.
I want you to look back over your life, how have you viewed God? Is he only a provider to you or a “genie” who just does things for you? Is he a judge waiting to punish you for every mistake, blunder, or fall in life? Is he too perfect for you to be real with him and share your true emotions? Is he too far away for you to have an honest conversation with him? Has he disappointed you because things didn’t pan out the way you thought they would? Does he only listen to people who go to church and are filled with his spirit? Will he only bless people who do right and live for his purpose? Does he really forgive our sins when we repent? Will he really deliver you from your past? Does he really look out for those that he calls his own? Why does he allow bad things to happen to good people? All of these questions I have dwelled on at certain points of my journey. A few months ago I had a really tough situation and I felt that I was too far from God’s will to pray and have a real relationship with him. I never would approach God with my problems or true feelings about life because I felt I had to come to him as a perfect man. I was more blunt and honest with my friends instead of God. My life changed when I heard a famous preacher named Steven Furtick make the following statement, “The presence of God is not a place to bypass your emotions, it’s a place to process them...and what that means is this, the only way into the presence of God is from where you really are.” It’s ok to be transparent with God and tell him how you truly feel. He cares about you and wants to hear from you! You’ll only recognize this when you view him as a loving father.
It took me a very long time to truly see God as a loving father, this stems from my relationship to my earthly father (Dad). I had a hard time opening up to my Dad these past couple of years because I didn’t think he would understand me or thought he would judge me because he’s a preacher. My apprehensions at critical moments in life were wrong, my Dad just wanted the best for me. I think what’s cool about my Dad is that he truly takes time to listen to my perspective and provide sound advice. He never hesitates to demonstrate his love for me. God is the same way, he’s always looking out for his children and will never let them fall. In the book The God-Shaped Heart, Timothy R. Jennings discussed Satan’s attack on believers to distort our understanding of God: “Satan knows that the truth about God’s character of love is overwhelming beautiful, consistent, reliable, trustworthy, all together lovely, and compelling anyone who really comes to know God will trust him. Therefore, Satan misrepresents God to be like himself - a coercive dictator and inflictor of pain and death - all to prevent us from genuinely knowing and thereby trusting God.” God is our Father and he will never set you up for failure. A real father will prepare you for the journey ahead. Always remind yourself, “where I am is just a set up and preparation for the expected end God has for me.”
When I think about past relationships, I had a very hard time opening up to others and sharing my true feelings. At times I was scared to say how I truly felt about them or address certain situations because I felt they would get mad and not like me anymore. I carried an insecurity that scarred my relationships. My goal was to please people and give them whatever they desired because I cared more about what they thought of me than what I thought of myself. Their approval was more valuable than what God thought about me. My life changed a few months ago when someone asked me how I communicated with God. I was honest and stated that my communication with God was minimal and I didn’t see value in prayer. This matter was an extension of my experiences of not having real conversations with my earthly father (Dad). Furthermore, I couldn’t open up and be real with others because I couldn’t do it with God. My lack of transparency and communication with God set a precedent for my other relationships in life.
There are times where even though I am a Christian I get so frustrated with life. These past couple of months I thought I had sure things that would come to pass but they ended up not working out. This included relationships and a career move. One day after watching a Steven Furtick sermon I just had a real conversation with God and told him everything:
I wasn’t happy with my life. I hated that things didn’t work out the way I thought they would. I felt that I could never hear his voice or know that he was near. I felt that his word wasn’t true for my life. I was trying to do the right thing but didn’t see a breakthrough on the horizon. I was tired of my past and its burden on my thought processes. How could others prosper and they were proud sinners? Why did he allow certain people to come into my life and I wasn’t ready to receive them. Why would he allow others to prosper who screwed me over? Why was I not seeing the benefits of the work that I put in for certain career positions?
I poured my heart and soul out to God that day. Things have not gotten easier and still there are days where I struggle with life but God has given me peace in the storm. I’m learning that it’s not about what God can do for me but what he is doing in and through me. These past couple of weeks I have felt a transformation on the inside (love, peace, and contentment) from being transparent and open with God. I have been given assurance and confidence that he has my best intentions in mind because he is a loving father. I was able to hear God’s voice by reading his living and active word (the bible). Matthew 7:9-11 states the following, “Do any of you have a son? If he asked for bread, would you give him a rock? Or if he asked for a fish, would you give him a snake? Of course not! You people are so bad, but you still know how to give good things to your children. So surely your heavenly Father will give good things to those who ask him.”
I recently researched 12 qualities great fathers have and came across a memorable quote, “He makes all the difference in a child’s life. He’s a pillar of strength, support and discipline. His work is endless and, oftentimes, thankless.” I believe this quote summarized God’s role as a father in my life. I can’t tell you how many times I took God for granted, how many times I didn’t say “thank you” for having my best intentions and protection in mind. In addition, the site further elaborated on the 12 qualities of great fathers:
1. He’s a good disciplinarian - A good father loves his children, but he doesn’t let them get away with murder. He strongly disapproves of his children’s misdeeds, using tough love to prove a point.
2. He allows his kids to make mistakes - A good father realizes that his children are human, and that making mistakes is part of growing up...However, he makes it clear that repeated irresponsibility won’t be tolerated.
3. He’s open-minded - A good father understands that times, people and tastes change over the years, and he allows his children to move with the times and not be stuck in his past.
4. He teaches his children to appreciate things - A good father never lets his children take what they have for granted...He doesn’t let his kids treat him like an ATM.
5. He accepts that his kids aren’t exactly like him - Everyone is different and a father knows this well. He won’t expect his kids to live the same kind of life he does, and do the same kind of work.
6. He spends quality time with his children - He takes the time to listen to his kids and have a good, easy chat with them.
7. He leads by example - A good father doesn’t subscribe to the “do as I say, not as I do” saying...In all, he lives by the values he wants his children to follow.
8. He’s supportive & loyal - He’s a safety net, the person his kids can turn to when things go wrong.
9. He challenges his kids - A father wants his children to be the best they can be, and gives them challenges that help them grow. This means giving them some liberty to face setbacks and resolve conflicts on their own.
10. He teaches his children lessons - A good father molds his kids into well-rounded members of society. He especially instructs them in proper etiquette, on being honest and keeping their word, and on being thankful.
11. He protects his family at all costs - As the main provider of security and necessities, a father will do whatever he can for his family.
12. He shows unconditional love - Even though he gets upset at his children’s faults and may lament that they did not attain what he hoped for them, a father loves his children no less for it.
When it comes to growing with the Father and experiencing his love we have to seek him through conversation (prayer). Dutch Sheets focuses on this endeavor through his book The Essential Guide To Prayer:
“I like to think of my prayer times as courting God. Sometimes I refer to them as prayer visits-conversing with God as I would with a close family member or friend. I no doubt spend more time doing this than I do making requests. The famous verse in Proverbs that says, “In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths” (Proverbs 3:6 NKJV) could be translated, “In all your courting, seek intimacy with Him first.” In other words, we are to court God ahead of people, money, success, or any other thing we might seek. As we do, this becomes our greatest motivation for prayer.
Devotion-our relationship with Christ-doesn’t need to be complex. Life itself can be a bit overwhelming, and the last thing we need is a complicated walk with God. Relationship with Jesus must be kept pure and simple. Introducing you to any facet of prayer without making this clear would set you up for frustration and eventual failure. Our motivation for prayer must be relationship-communing with God.
I emphasize this not only because it’s true but also because our human tendencies and needs sometimes cause us to miss this critical starting place in prayer. We are so often “cart before the horse” people. Of the three possible motives and starting points for prayer-communing with God, our needs, and the needs of others-we often begin with second or third.
However, when Jesus was asked to teach His disciples to pray, He didn’t begin with “Our Provider, who art in heaven, generous be Thy name.” Nor did He encourage us to start with, “Our Master, who art in heaven, assignment-giver be Thy name.” No, Jesus settled the matter once and for all in the only model prayer He ever gave us when He instructed us to begin this way: “Our Father” (see Matthew 6:9).
Why is this so important? Because no relationship built around “using” another person becomes lasting and meaningful. On the other hand, loving relationships built around true communion and the pleasure of friendship always result in the serving of one another. Paul said his love for God, not duty or reward, constrained him to serve God (see 2 Corinthians 5:14 KJV).”
In life I’m learning that even when I fall I can always come back to pleasing God. Joyce Meyer changed my perspective about God’s love when she wrote a profound statement in the book Tell Them I Love Them, “There is nothing you can do to make God love you anymore or any less than He already does. God loves you perfectly, eternally.” From reading this I thought about the story of the prodigal son (Luke 15:11-32), its true demonstration of a father’s love, and how it relates to our lives. We stray so far from God and feel that we can’t come back. When we muster up the courage to come back we still feel unworthy to be called his own but we can’t let this feeling overshadow God’s relentless pursuit and unconditional love for us. Notice what happens in the story of the prodigal son (Luke 15:20-24):
So he got up and went to his father. “But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him. “The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’ “But the father said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate. For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ So they began to celebrate.
It doesn’t matter where you are, our father (God) wants relationship with us. Grace and forgiveness is given to the lost; love and peace can be found in his presence. We choose life when we see him as our father. We all fall short and have bad moments but always remember God’s invitation has never changed. Don’t stay where you are, it’s never too late to come back home.
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